Monday, July 26, 2010
Being Broken
Broken:
1.) Forcibly separated into two or more pieces; fractured
2.) Sundered by separation
3.) Having been violated
4.) Incomplete; disordered
5.) Subdued totally; humbled; weak and infirm
6.) Crushed by grief
7.) Bankrupt
8.) Not functioning; out of order
Years ago, I used to think often on the idea of brokeness...
"We have this treasure in clay jars, so that this extraordinary power may be from God and not from us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7
Back then, I would visualize a clay pot being smashed to pieces. I understood the idea of God crafting us into His image. Then, time would harden us until we were of no further value to our cause on this earth.
So... God would break us and rebuild us from scratch.
At the time, I believed moments of brokeness to be painful, difficult situations when we felt that we had no choice but to cling to God.
A decade later, I find it more and more difficult to navigate these moments of brokeness. It's one thing to have your heart broken... to find out that your great love has chosen another, or the financing fell through on your first home, etc.
It's another thing altogether to quickly pick up the pieces of your life and forge ahead at this quick pace we call adulthood.
As a child, I could bury myself in a prayer closet. As an adult, I sometimes am faced with realities such as, There are 200 people waiting on me, and I can't afford to be broken right now.
So...here's the question: What happened to those moments of spiritual brokeness? and will I ever have them again?
"We are pressured in every way, but not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; we are persecuted, but not abandoned; we are struck down, but not destroyed." - 2 Cor 4:8-9
Perhaps we are all supposed to be spiritual weight lifters...don't laugh. Maybe the condition of brokeness is supposed to change as we grow. Perhaps, we are to react differently to situations as we grow in Christ. The Bible says there is a time for everything under the sun. Maybe there is a time for running to the prayer closet and isolating ourselves from further danger. And perhaps there is a time for standing in the full armor of God (Eph 6:11) to fight through the perilous moments in life.
I believe we will always have moments of brokeness. Some of those moments will crush us and leave us feeling violated and we will go to God with our faces buried in the carpet, begging for His comfort.
However, more and more, I would like to know that I am standing and facing my giants with renewed faith and strength of will. Maybe that's one of the major points of being broken.
