Addiction

Have you ever looked at your life and said, Of all the things I struggled with, I am so glad I don't struggle with addiction?

I've said it.

But when the Lord is moving in my life, and opening my eyes to the sin of the world, I begin to see that my standard of living is not what I thought it was. There are addictions in my life, enslaving me, holding me prisoner, and luring me away from Jesus.

Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned?

Proverbs 6:27

Very simply, addiction is anything (or anyone) that enslaves you. God has called us to live above this. 

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

1 John 2:16

Addiction is tricky. I believe the Lord makes us aware of addiction in our lives in order to remove the things that keep us from Him. Some people are addicted to the media. They will spend hours watching T.V. and invest in the latest flat screen on the market, but they won't attend church or tithe. Some are addicted to a person, boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse... they have to ask permission to go out with a friend. When they do spend quality time with a friend, the discussion revolves around their significant other.

The Lord has chosen to reveal my addiction to me by inspiring me to fast... from what has seemed like a perfectly healthy diversion from my work life. The Lord has inspired me to fast from radio, movies, and T.V. 

I have taken for granted that media is a harmless indulgence. I get away from the gentle quiet of morning and evening by immediately turning to noise and distraction. Maybe this is due to my need to drown out my thoughts, which tend to rush on with the sun's first light. 

This week, I commit to entertaining silence, and drawing near to Jesus within the quiet of morning and evening. 

What addiction are you struggling with? What are you being called to fast from?

Oceans Deep

A few months ago, I was struggling with debilitating anxiety. The truth is... I've been struggling with anxiety most of my life.

Once, when I was little, I broke something. It probably cost $5 at the supermarket, but suddenly it became the most precious thing on earth. I wanted desperately to close my eyes and open them to a miracle. Alas, I was left to throw away the remains and hide in bed for the rest of the day.

I agonized over this broken object for days. Of course, it wasn't the broken object that was causing me stress... it was the aftermath. What was going to happen to me?

The aftermath, of course, was my mother totally downplaying the significance of the object. I had been anxiety ridden for days over something that no one else cared about.

God has said, 

"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." 

So we say with confidence, 

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"

Heb 13: 5, 6

God speaks to us all throughout the Bible about trusting Him... about relinquishing our control over situations, things, and people. We were never meant to be perfect. We were meant to trust in a perfect God. Yet, perfection has become the standard.

As a woman, a musician, an oldest child...perfection looms in the distance constantly. My father always says that anxiety is the difference between where we are, and where we think we need to be.

Where we are (or where we should be) is in the center of God's will. His command is to love Him with all of our heart, soul, and mind. Everything else is in His hands.

Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.

Malachi 3:10

This is a song that they played at my church a few months ago, in the eye of my storm. It spoke to me for weeks. I hope it will speak to you...

Patient Transformation

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."

- Psalm 32:8 (NIV)

 I will never fully understand the love of a God who never gives up. 

 As I grow older, I experience more and more impatience with things. Today, I was running late for a yoga class when I realized I had lost my membership card. The ladies at the front desk were so kind and helpful, and all I could think about was getting to the class on time. 

  In my walk, I've had seasons of radical reform. I've had seasons of joy in fellowship. I've had seasons of  passionate ministry. But the sad truth is that littered around these seasons of happy worship have been periods of apathy... neglect... even idol worship (it doesn't have to be made of gold to be an idol). Like a child, desperate for the approval of a parent after a misdeed, again and again I come back to the Father, knowing that my existence rests in Him. His approval is my peace.

   How does He do it? How does He take me back after my every failed attempt to control my life? How does He continue to give when all I do is take, and ask for more? How can He still care enough to instruct me?

  But this is the truth of God's nature... He will never leave you or forsake you (Deut 31:6), and He is with you always (Matt 28:20). The patience of God is inspiring. The challenge of God is to transform, and his wisdom will change you to unrecognizable. Therein is His counsel and your transformation is his praise.